apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
