would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
