8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize