I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize