party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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