My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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