11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
