After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
