just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
