Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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