The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
