are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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