Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
