Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
