guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
