just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
