she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
