Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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