shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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