Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
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