also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
