I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
