have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
