You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
