erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
