I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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