mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I've blown a few things in my day
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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