you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
