I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
