Joe is yelling at the trees again.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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