Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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