That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
only you would photoshop your dick
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
