i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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