The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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