i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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