If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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