her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize