Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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