i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just tell him i said nine months
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
