He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
