Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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