I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
