I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
