At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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