my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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