So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
birth control should be required to get into college
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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