The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
