i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
