there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
