there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
