It's Friday. Sex?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
