It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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