Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
my poor anus
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
