somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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