maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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