I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
