it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
