I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
