So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
