Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
