I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
