I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
