I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
