my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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