I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
