Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Come on in and take your pants off
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