We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize
